Halloween is around the corner, and it’s time to start preparing your costume. Here are eight options that will have your friends saying, “Wow! Not only are you hilarious, but you also read local news!” and out-of-towners asking, “What in the actual f*** is that?”
⚖️ Political and Pattie (couple's costume):
Based on D.C.’s most recent political bar scandal, this one’s up to the imagination. I’m picturing white outfits with the word “political” crossed out then re-written on one and Republican elephants and Democratic donkeys on the other. If anyone asks what you are, say you’re “putting the ‘lit’ in ‘politics.’”
🚌 Circulator Bus:
The whole joke with this one is you just never show up to the party, because you’ve been canceled. Get it?
🕶️ A Certain 25-Year-Old DC Consultant:
You know him, you love him, most of you probably dress like him already, give it up for D.C.’s local influencer icon Tony P. But please, please only take on this costume if you have his dance moves down pat and can do them with a straight face. Bonus points if you wear a Patriots Jersey and aviator sunglasses.
🐰 The Bunnyman:
A classic DMV urban legend, this ax-wielding asylum patient dressed in a bunny suit has many alleged sightings. To dress the part you’ll need a bunny suit and a bloody ax. Hang out near “Bunny Man Bridge” if you really want to get some screams.
🌹 Golden Bachelorette:
Choose from one of Rockville-born Joan Vassos’ many banging outfits, top it off with a blond wig, and carry a rose (of course).
This could be you! (Corinne von Nordmann/Getty Images)
🦊 The Ghost of Foxtrots Past:
You can still see the remnants of this Chicago-based bougie grocer all over D.C. despite shutting down in April. I say, use this to your advantage. Slap together the most “basic” outfit you can find, carry around a stale bag of (artisanal) chips, and overcharge people for beer at your Halloween party.
🚗 An Untowed Car:
The key to this one is to slap a million unpaid tickets all over you (don’t worry though D.C. wouldn’t dare hold you accountable). Carry around a VA or MD license plate if you really want to start a fight.
🐀 A Rat:
An oldie but a goodie. Turns out, D.C. is the most rat-infested city in the country, so you’ll fit right in. Don’t be afraid to bulk up the costume a bit to make it more true to size.
